Barbie

Why I would not recommend.
Spoiler alert!

In between nights spent at the hospital, what better way to unwind and disconnect from work than by going to the movies with a girlfriend and watching something “light” while devouring a good old jumbo bucket of salty popcorn.
Or so I thought.
Having not read or listened to any reviews or ratings, I was not expecting Barbie’s full-blown political message disguised as the adventures of an all-time classic toy for girls. Unexpectedly, I left the movie theater with an even busier mind, feeling uneasy, uncomfortable, and kind of sad. I kept thinking about it during my shift and I couldn’t put my mind to rest until I finally figured out exactly what was wrong with the whole thing.

At first, I was mesmerized by the photography, the unapologetically girly esthetics, the catchy original songs by popular contemporary artists, and the clever ideas executed to recreate a fantasy world populated by live actors. I liked the simple, innocent and optimistic ways of these creatures in their Barbieland, and the plot twist presented by the breach between that parallel dimension and the “Real World” piqued my interest and made me excited for the upcoming interactions between the main characters and “real people”.

But shortly after setting foot in L.A., the politically charged portrayal of reality became increasingly apparent, with a very blunt (probably to a significant degree comically intended) over-generalization of feminine vs. masculine stereotypes, with an obvious moralizing undertone. At first, I hoped for a significant degree of irony behind the very intentional dichotomic and antagonistic depiction of masculinity and femininity, but its consistent presence even during the most dramatic scenes ruled out any solely comical intentions.

Firstly, regarding Barbie’s first contact with “real men”, unwarranted, obscene catcalling does exist. From my own personal experience, it even might be particularly exacerbated in the streets of Santa Monica. Barbie makes a point to disassociate herself from the reductionist view of women implied by the objectifying outcries of these men by very graphically stating her lack of reproductive organs (due to her being, indeed, a doll). Yet the movie ends with the contradictory irony of her proudly announcing an appointment with a gynecologist first thing after becoming human. Addressing this theme twice, making it the very last scene of the movie, paradoxically ends up reducing women to their sexuality in a way which kind of contradicts the modern feminism defended during the previous two hours.

Barbies are brainwashed into becoming submissive Ken-pleasers, as their male counterparts take over Barbieland. And so, most of the plot revolves around women losing power and trying to reestablish a matriarcal system once their world is contaminated by the pervasive ideology of “modern patriarchy”. In the context of the storyline, this seems like a legitimate motive (though I would have preferred a more equal and balanced end goal). But the means used by Babies to achieve this portray them in an unflattering way.
Their collective behavior in some instances is morally disenchanting and disappointing. I felt appalled at the cruelty and remorsefulness with which barbies collectively play with and manipulate Kens´ feelings to manufacture a jealousy driven rivalry among them, ultimately leading to their violent self-destruction. That kind of cunning play is more characteristic of villains than heroes. How does such behavior portray women in that instance? As sleazy. Dishonest. Hypocritical. Definitely not as integrous or brave. It just made me feel bad for all Kens, regardless of their previous wrongdoings, as Barbies’ victory feels like a disingenuous cheat.
Self-proclaimed moral superiority and the implied idea that certain unmoral behaviors are justified to counter others, do something I deem very dangerous for human coexistence: they blur the boundaries between right and wrong, decreasing the value and meaning of these concepts, and turn justice and virtue subjective and contextualizable.

There is further controversy derived from the very element that makes brainwashed Barbies snap out of their trance, as it relies upon the realization of their general oppression and victimhood in society. The long speech delivered by the unlikeable real-world mother character elaborates on women’s victim role in today’s misogynistic society, the existential unfairness, pressures and expectations they are constantly subjected to. I don’t remember the exact lines of her dramatic (rather histrionic) supposedly enlightening speech, but among other things it touched upon how we are expected to be great mothers but not talk about our children too much, to be leaders without coming across as insensitive or bossy, to be thin while pretending all we attempt to be is “healthy”, to always put everyone else first, to never be selfish, and so on.

In my personal experience (and according to research and psychology), self-perceived victimhood leads to feelings of hopelessness, low self-esteem, sadness, anxiety, lack of purpose. Inequalities do exist but as it with ANY major complex topic, oversimplification and generalizations lead to the erroneous axiomatic acceptance of certain ideas that can be fundamentally wrong and damaging.
In developed, free countries every person, regardless of gender, has the freedom of choice, to live and act according to their own moral values within legal, socioeconomic and societal limitations. We have the privilege of making choices for ourselves. We have a say in how we are perceived by ourselves and our peers, we can act with dignity and honesty, avoiding or condemning situations and people that contradict our values. We can find and give the best of ourselves with self-awareness and self-compassion. And there is no need for women to constantly interpret EVERY setback in life through the lens of patriarchal oppression or gender inequality. Such an attitude by default implies a sense of unavoidable doom and condemnation, and acts as the perfect breeding ground for feelings of resentment and general discontent. And, ironically, rivalry between the sexes itself.
It is not a mentality that allows anyone, neither women nor men, to grow within their possibilities.

Then there’s the two main “real” female characters, mother and teenage daughter, who come across as everything but grounded, mature and/or realistic. They both are bitter and cynical in their own way. The mother from the moment she volunteers her self-pitying reductionist self-perception as a “boring mom with a boring job”. The daughter for the coldness and cruelty displayed at Barbie upon meeting her, and her continuously gloomy and dismissive demeanor throughout most of their interactions, targeting her own mother as well. Being a teenager is biologically tumultuous and difficult, but it doesn’t give anyone a free pass to be disrespectful, callous or ill-spirited. Am I supposed to identify with these women? Without knowing the intricacies of their fictional personal lives, especially the overall attitude of the teenage girl doesn’t seem relatable to me. She has a structured family unit and two parents who seem present and loving. Although in accordance with the movie’s general depiction of men, the one or two scenes actually featuring the dad, he seems aloof and rather moronic.

Lastly, something I did not enjoy was watching Ken’s love for Barbie get diminished and dismissed as immature and inconvenient. He is pushed to find himself “independently from Barbie”. Because, even though he was created as her counterpart and companion, isolation and loneliness is the best way to find fulfilment, and men and women don’t belong together, they belong apart.

A movie about Barbie had the potential to be approached from a hundred different angles. It could have still appealed to a broad audience without making it about the male vs. female dichotomy or the “patriarchy”. But the fact it was is, in my opinion, redundant, unoriginal and, ironically, backward.

Entertainment like this accentuates whatever disparities, inequalities, differences, animosities between men and women that do exist. Ken and Barbie could have been a team joining forces to defeat or conquer something external to themselves, without turning against one another. The idea of a Barbie doll in the real world, delivered by this charismatic cast, could have been amazing had it been free of contemporary ideologies. It would have appealed to a broader public, making a better job at honoring the long multigenerational history of the beloved toy. Instead, the chosen approach kind of ruins the movie’s potential of becoming a timeless classic.

Unfortunately, masculinity, both in the Real World and in Babieland, is consistently portrayed as intrinsically predatory, unassertive, erratic, aggressive, unhinged, clumsy. And, again, it might have all been with a characterizing comical intent. But contrary to the case with female characters, there was really no scene in which any man was portrayed as wise or serene or truly virtuous. There was no need to frame the girliness of Barbie’s world in contrast to toxic masculinity.

I don’t appreciate how increasingly political the film industry is becoming. I want to be able to watch a movie before a night shift without having the same propaganda I am regularly subjected to in the media shoved down my throat next to my popcorn.

I could not identify with the kind of womanhood portrayed by any of these characters, but Ken I found likeable and easy to empathize with.
Had I been him, I would have escaped Barbieland too.

Rose-Colored Glasses

What a perfect day.
For the first time in a long while, I finally felt like spending it all on my own… for the right reasons. I was the only company I needed, because I knew today I was going to be a good, uplifting and wholesome one.

For the first time this year, I revisited one of my favorite routes: from Freiburg to Breisach am Rhein and back. I had been missing bike sunsets. Living in beautiful Basel has many advantages, but opportunities like these to explore around my dear Freiburg, the Schwarzwald region, and lovely Oberrheingraben are rare and hence, golden.
So, I put on my neglected cycling gear and the most random, cheesiest female only pop hits playlist I could find on Spotify, and hit the road.

I only actually realized how long it had been since the last time I picked that itinerary because it felt better than I remembered. Particularly the bit past Opfingen, the ascension to Merdigen, and the lookout over the Weinberge from Tuniberghöhenweg. It was cloudy, but the kind of cloudy I like: puffy and porous. With enough cracks between clouds wide enough for the sun to reach through and touch the ground with a special kind of selective kindness, enhancing soft textures and bringing out the best of those lovely sunset pastels. There was barely anyone out as I passed through familiar empty fields, industrial areas and small towns, all wrapped in that mystic warm flair of this beautiful summer sunset.

My legs and my pumping heart worked together to propel me (and me) forward and up in every possible sense. How freeing and satisfying it is to go at my own pace, to take whatever turn I want, to make mistakes and reroute however I please. 358,50€ worth of balayage and styling from this very morning carelessly covered by a sweaty helmet directly after, and no one to frown at my choices or priorities. Underneath my blonde hair, a brain full of nothing but exhilarating thoughts and emotions for 3 hours and 50 km.

Ecstasy. Heat, the outdoors, open spaces, gorgeous sunlight, wide empty roads, colorful music, solitude, sustained physical effort, speed, freedom…

Once it was over, I looked into the mirror and saw another thing I’d almost forgotten about: a collection of tiny bugs plastered all over my sunscreened face. A tan, sweaty and smiling one.

Today, I had two mayor cravings that increased the thirstier I became once I ran out of water: fruit and ginger ale. Couldn’t find the latter, but the size of the fruit salad I devoured just now makes my cycling spandex asphyxiate my abdomen with passion.

Now, as sweaty, sticky as I am, typing all this is just another source of pleasure and joy to end the day.
Everything is so... peaceful.
I must be seeing through rose-colored (cycling) glasses again.
Quite literally, too.




🚲
And that's why I smile
It's been a while
Since every day and everything has
Felt this right
🚲
(Avril Lavigne – Smile – My Random Cheesy playlist.)

*

Canada Camping

When I went camping in Canada knowing I was going camping

This has been my longest trip so far that I attempt to capture for this blog. It is going to be difficult to paint an accurate enough portrait of this whole experience with words, and if I want to keep it real, I’ll need to add some of the not so idyllic aspects that kept it from being absolutely perfect. Mostly, I look forward to my picture selection, as I have probably taken some of my favorite ever photographs during this time (and sometimes a picture is worth more than 1000 words).

As it always is with my intense workload, the Friday before leaving, the notion that I’d be setting foot in Calgary and sleeping on the ground for two weeks in less than 24h seemed absurd and unreal. And as it always is with my intense workload, it took me at least 2-3 days to finally feel like I was there. I arrived completely jet-jagged and not expecting the heat I was received with setting food outside of the airport (this seems to be a common theme in all my travel blog posts this year).
I had been looking forward to this trip for a while, especially since my first (unexpected) camping experience ever one year ago in California had turned out so amazing. And I guess I was used to these things ALWAYS turning out that way, to always end up meeting special, engaging new friends. But this element in particular, at least in the beginning, turned out rather disappointing. Our small group (8 people) was comprised of Germans and Swiss. In itself, that shouldn’t be a bad thing, regardless of my initial desire to get away from the Germanic culture for a while and interact in a more international manner. But at least at first, they all seemed to fit the stereotypical criteria: quiet, a bit stiff. Not a lot of personal questions, not a lot of fun conversation. With a rather apathetic dynamic at first (even Ellie agreed, worrying that they were all just not having fun), I was met with many conflicting feelings and thoughts. Perhaps I was being too judgmental and not open-minded enough. Perhaps it was a matter of time. Then again, isn’t that something I sometimes do? Not trusting my gut, over-rationalizing? What if I was too demanding? What if I just felt some sort of resentment for having to speak German, the “language of work”, during my vacation? I tried to just be myself, but my standard outgoing character and openness seemed rather histrionic in contrast to the rest when it came to communication, and that made me feel extravagant at first. In the beginning, I found reassurance in Ellie and Antonio, though, who both seemed to vibrate at similar frequencies. And then at a later point, I connected with Melanie at an also deeper level and found myself laughing with her to the point of belly soreness.
Eventually, I didn’t care about anything other than being genuine and making the best out of the experience.

As for the actual trip… Nearly every new sight, every new destination left me speechless sooner or later (and I mean the good kind of speechless, not the exasperating shoulder-shrug kind at the sight of waterfalls “ist schön, aber nichts besonderes” or food “haut mich halt nicht vom Stuhl runter”).
Somehow, we ended up sharing tents, which differed from my experience in California. The good part: more speed and efficiency in terms of putting them up and taking them down. The downside: a serious lack of privacy. Still, I managed to get used to it pretty fast. My general attitude seemed to be that as long as I could somehow take a shower every day, I’d be fine, considering the limited time of the experience.

With the help of Ellie and aaaaall the books I managed to get my hands on, I learned so much about the history and geology of the Rockies, about the animal species inhabiting them, their behaviors and patterns, traditions and customs of the native population, and even environmental and political issues. As always, learning is one of the most beautiful aspects of traveling. And it can be done in an introspective, personal level under any circumstances.

It's impossible to write a whole paragraph on 14 days respectively without entering the novel realm, so these are my favorite highlights:

  • The day-long hike from Lake Louise to the Big Beehive, along a forested trail, passing by Mirror Lake and cascading waterfalls, and the shores of Lake Agnes. I got to spot so many different species of mammals and birds. They were everywhere, and it was very wholesome to see that amount of wildlife thriving happy and free. There were many tourists, but the higher we got the more they dissipated. Still, all trails were clean and well-kept and people seemed to be environmentally conscious and respectful as a general rule. As the cherry on top, we even managed to find the owner of a forgotten wallet (thank you, Facebook).
  • Canoeing in Wells Gray. I’d been kayaking before, but never canoeing. And doing so in Clearwater Lake was beautiful and invigorating. As it is the case with any activity involving physical exercise, I felt alive and healthy, which is my favorite way to feel. The air was impeccable and fresh in the early morning hours and once in Cariboo Beach, there was NOTHING to be heard except for the water, the wind and the birds. Needless to say, none of my travels buddies was up for an intentional, engaging conversation, so I ended up deriving it from our local canoeing instructor, the Chilean woman accompanying us and Ellie, which turned out a lot of fun. I got stung by a horse fly right by my jugular with an anatomical precision that made me question whether animals in Western Canada went to medical school as well.
  • Kamloops lookout point. Because that’s where I got to hug Jordyn a year after meeting her in Italy. I got to meet Colby as well, and chatting with them for 40 minutes was just great (and welcomed proof that my troubles to get close with my current group had definitely to do with external, cultural related factors). We reminisced about Italy, updated each other on current events in our lives, talked about future plans and decided we needed to meet up in Europe again. She looked beautiful and seemed so happy. Who would have thought I would actually get to see her and talk to her in person after that last crazy night of running around in Rome, with Clay and his brother and all of our lost minds.
  • The day in Whistler. I already wrote a brief blog post on this one. But mountain biking on my own was exhilarating and exciting and I am glad I didn’t fall off a cliff and hit my head because I don’t know who would have found me. Also, sleeping right next to a river under a full moon was magical. Dinner at that pub was delicious and going out after unexpected, but also fun. I left sooner than the rest to oblige to my pledge of taking a shower every day. After getting an Uber, I walked half a mile to the showers and back by myself, well aware of the existence of bears roaming around camp sites. But I guess that’s the price of hygiene sometimes. I’d rather be clean and dead than covered in mountain bike dirt overnight.
  • Our whale watching tour in Tofino. The day started off rainy and grey. I did NOT feel like freezing my butt on a zodiac for three hours. But once there, in my XXL-sized water-resistant one-piece, facing the natural beauty of the Esowista Peninsula through my wind-proof goggles, I felt a completely different way. More so when we got to see countless groups of sea otters, some gigantic grey whales, a seal colony, puffins… Once again, it was incredibly rewarding and heartwarming to experience these animals in their natural habitat. Undisturbed, protected, numerous and seemingly happy. Plus, as time went by, the weather progressively cleared, turning into a bight, beautiful sunny morning that culminated with us eating out lunch at a beautiful, secluded beach.
  • Long Beach. It was quite a contrast to end up on the Pacific shores after almost two weeks of camping in the mountains. Everyone went surfing except for Antonio (triathlete) and some of the girls, and I. I took my camera and went for a two-hour long walk on the never ending shore, rejoicing in every beautiful detail I could find on the sand, taking pictures of the waves, the birds, the light, the horizon and singing out loud without the fear of being heard. I could observe through my lens how the light changed with the passing of time, and the more passionate tones of blue and orange slowly transitioned into pastel pinks and ocres as the sun went down. It remains a mystery to me how such a place could be that empty. At one point, I found myself completely alone on a vast field of sand, surrounded by the soft shapes of water-sculptured sand formations, rocks, pine trees and the beautiful light of the sunset filtering thought them. I could smell the ocean, feel the breeze. It was the perfect sight, the perfect temperature, the perfect light. That amount of beauty all around me brought tears of joy and gratitude to my eyes. I decided that was going to be one of those moments I needed to put into a small mental flask to take out in those occasions in life where I need to be reminded of how vividly beautiful the world is. Without a doubt, one of the most memorable experiences.

Canada is such an enormous country, and in two hectic, full weeks I’ve only managed to see a tiny portion of Alberta and British Columbia. I can’t imagine the amount of awe evoking places I have yet to discover. I think I am developing a deeper love for (North American) national parks in general, as so far, they seem to have such an impact on me. It’s the raw, ancient natural beauty. The contrast between the harshness on winter and the gentleness of summer and the beauty in the resilience of all these species to survive and thrive through it all (as long as they remain undisturbed). I wonder about Yellowstone, Alaska… There are many places I’d like to see and at least for now, it looks as though I might be able to keep traveling this way for a while.

Overall, I feel regenerated. I am very happy to have met Ellie and my new Melanie (H.), who have inspired me, and who have managed to bring out that side of me I love the most with their humor, outlook and general positivity.

PS.: I did end up breaking my shower promise, as I skipped it on the last day, after getting back from Victoria to our campsite to find a settlement of 3 loud families, their babies and dogs right next to our tents. I flew back the next afternoon. Time difference, jet-lag and general confusion make calculations a bit difficult, but if I’m correct at least 55 hours went by before I could set foot on a shower. Last time that happened I was 8, spending the night in Las Mercedes with school. I suffered a lot that day and my mom had to pick me up early.