Once upon a London time
A smart, handsome climber boy
Would climb up a bouldering wall
Like the wall was just a toy
Then a flip of his meniscus
With a twisting of his joint
Was the plot twist to this story
Like a cruel flip of a coin
No diagnosis and no treatment
No real doctor with good eye
All he got were plain old X-rays
Physio callback, and “bye-bye”
But his girlfriend was a doctor
And a nosy one who cares
When she sniffed out complications
Her nose was stuck everywhere
“Diego Surname?” someone called him
For his private image study
“Diego Surname, Here’s your CD
Wanna read it? Good luck, buddy!”
Sexy hero on two crutches
Leading with determination
Just to get a CD reader
They travelled across the nation
On his free PACS she discovered
Is this… is this… oh my God!
“Hi, my name is Bucket Handle
Thanks for finding me, hello!”
“Diego, Diego, you need surgery!”
She was pleading, sad, and baffled
He said, “I’m not leaving London”
So they went and had some waffles
When they finally hit the Notfall
Lachgas, stretching—what a mess!
Then they told him, “Just walk on it”
You can’t trust the NHS!
For the way to avoid disaster
Was through daily medication
Her long pharma tour in town
Got him anticoagulation
Between Clexane injections
After sweat, tears, and despair
Three long weeks, one cancellation
His meniscus got repair
“Take one pill every four hours
It’s strong stuff, so you should wait”
“Just one pill every four hours?
Well, f*ck that,” and he took eight
His nosy girlfriend returned
To put his leg in a bag
Nosy and smelly don’t mix well:
It was time to take a bath
He’s been brave and so resilient
Lovely climber boy of mine
So I wrote this silly open
Hoping I could make him smile